TIPS ON MARRIAGE

TIPS ON MARRIAGE

Nick and I have been married for 3 years and together for 6. Though it seems like a short time, the amount of knowledge we have gained has given our relationship a foundation we want to share with others. Through a lot of trial and error, looking up to relationships around us has inspired the 5 tips we are about to discuss that we have implemented in our own marriage. WE have found these to be extremely helpful in obtaining a exceptional relationship with each other and hope you find it beneficial! Wether you are engaged, married for 1 year, 5 years, 60 years... you can take control of your marriage to make it the best it can ever be!

NUMBER ONE COMMUNICATION

It's easy to tell someone to have better communication... it's difficult to do so when you don't know what your communication language is. When you're talking with your spouse, the words are coming out but for some reason the connect/understanding just isn't there. This was an issue in Robin and I's marriage in the first year. I would say what I thought she wanted to hear, instead of communicating what was in my head. This caused a lot of misleading conversations leading to arguments. The reality is Robin just wanted to hear the truth straight forward. If you do not take the time to understand your partners communicative language, there is a very little chance you will be getting the response you are searching for. - Nick

I definitely agree with Nick! I am the worst at communication, I have lots of conversations in my head and shut down during heated discussions. What we have found, that my communative language is, if I take time to write down and organize my thoughts then we are less likely to have burst of rage. I am saying what needs to be said and Nick is understanding the point of the conversation! Now communication applies in everything. Understanding what we are having for dinner, communicating who is charge of what activities the day brings, communicating where we are financially, all of these are examples of the day to day. Being in constant communication is key towards having an exceptional marriage. -Robin

NUMBER TWO TRUST

When we bring trust up I feel the first thing people think about is cheating. Though that is a big thing that should not be occurring in any relationship! What I want to focus on is trusting your partners thought process. What I mean by that is, I know when my spouse says something... then I don't need to worry about it because that trust has been established and kept safe. Same goes for me, if Robin asks me if something is taken care of and I tell her it has been, she knows its done. We've built that trust with each other. It wasn't easy at first because as humans I think it's difficult to just let go and have full trust that another person will take care of you. I don't know how to tell someone how to trust another because it comes from the individual. You are not going to have a relationship with out it. Nick

Friends I trust Nick with everything in me. Before he put a ring on it we were apart for 16 months, out of that we saw each other a total of 28 days. It was challenging but allowed me to learn to fully trust in him. The definition of trust is to have reliance, the perfect example of what a relationship looks like. You need to be reliant. If you are going to say you're going to do something then follow through. Create that foundation for your own relationship. Confidence in each other is key to an exceptional marriage. Robin

NUMBER THREE GROWTH

I am a firm believer if you aren't growing then you are dying! If you are not striving to be the best version of yourself, then what are you bringing to the marriage? There was a period of time after having the babies were I was miserable and cranky! I resented Nick talking about how he needed to work out or wanted guy time. I was so frustrated with my life not correlating the effect it was having on my marriage! If only one person in the marriage is growing then you will grow apart,  makes sense right? We decided that we needed to work together in becoming the best versions of ourselves. WE read personal growth books, meditate, listen to pod casts... we take time during our busy weeks to have alone time as individuals and a couple. Now if you are reading this alone thinking good for you guys... then let me say this ever so nicely... YOU then take responsibility! You become the best version of yourself and don't say a word about your changes. Keep at it and watch it overflow into your relationship! Growth is so so important! Now there needs to be a mutual respect added to this. If you have been truly working consistently to change x,y,z and so has your spouse... respect it! Understand and get to know the new them!Robin

What she said! - Nick

NUMBER FOUR SEX

Whoa Robin um too much... NOPE! Let's talk about sex! It is so important in a marriage to be having sex with your partner! This goes beyond intercourse. I am talking about true intimacy with your partner that will ultimately lead to having great sex. I learned to appreciate true intimacy after having the babies. I think anyone woman on the face of this earth can agree that, we are out touched and at a loss for feeling sexy. The last thing you want to do is have sex. Trust me I know... what I wish I would have done a lot earlier was talk to Nick. Tell him how I was feeling and that I wasn't just rejecting him all the time. Talk to you partner. It's very important to understand your body and listen to it. If you are forcing yourself out of guilt that is not the true intimacy God designed it to be. With out going into too much detail, the things that work for us is flirting, holding hands... almost treating the relationship as if we were dating. Caring about each and every part will build up to the big moment! Text each other frisky messages! I encourage you to get excited... try new things! Re claim your sexual relationship and cherish it! Once you get there commit to showing up! What I mean by that is intentionality! Go into having sex with a positive mindset! PS... you should try making out like teenagers again! Robin

Theres not much I could say that hasn't been said. The biggest point I can hit on is communication. Listen to what your partner wants and doesn't want. If they don't want to have sex then just let it be. Its not going to be great if both parties aren't wanting it. Nick

NUMBER FIVE IT'S OK TO SAY NO

I have always been a "yes man" always trying to help others out. So is Robin its one of the reasons I love her so much! She has a heart of gold! I always thought it was good to always be the one to jump up first and volunteer or help someone in need.. till i joined the Navy... just kidding! In the first two years of our marriage I would always volunteer or lend a hand to friends, family, work, really anywhere I was needed. I didn't realize though the stress it was causing my family. My wife and kids got the tired beat up Nick while everyone else got me energized. I'll be the first to say it took me way too long to learn how to say "No"! Once I did though it felt great!! This doesn't mean shoot everyone down who asks something of you but understand your limits. Ask yourself if doing this extra thing is going to take time or energy away from your family where it needs to be! Always be motivated, loving, caring, but also know when it's ok to just say no. - Nick

I think Nick really hit this one on the head! We have learned how important our family values are to us! Being very late bloomers in saying "No" has caused our relationship a lot of grief! WE felt the pressure from family members, friends, co workers... to always be giving giving giving it wiped us emotionally! Since putting this to practices we have found a great balance on how to remain whole as a couple and as parents!           - Robin

There you have it friends 5 tips to help you grow and achieve an exceptional marriage! I promise you practicing all of these topics and making it fit your needs will not be a cake walk. Understand marriage takes work but if you are willing, you as a couple will be so successful and full of love your lives will be elevated! One last thing I want to throw in which is very important! #6 find support! Surround yourself with friends and other couples who are striving to have a fulfilling marriage! Your marriage can also be a reflection of your surroundings. Be mindful of you or what you allow in! 

xo Robin and Nick

  

MEET MARGO

MEET MARGO

GET TO KNOW ROBIN

GET TO KNOW ROBIN